What To Do When God is Saying “No” to Your Relationship…

What To Do When God is Saying “No” to Your Relationship…

The lifestyle you are living today is a direct correlation of the seeds you have planted in the past, and (many times) what is in your heart.  How so?? What we desire on the inside, slowly manifests into our lives by our choices in mates, career paths, how we care for and raise our children, etc, etc.

I speak from experience….. Fourteen years ago, I moved to a city & state that wasn’t the will of God for me. Yet, it was where “I” desired to be. And, let me tell you– this experience knocked the non-sense out of me…LOL..

When I arrived, the city was beautiful. The trees were swaying, and the birds chirped like angels every morning.  Yet, I quickly discovered the journey to be hard, unfruitful, and left me with no car, in debt and in a vulnerable state of existence.  The best thing that came out of the experience was that I learned the importance of listening for the leading of the Holy Spirit, how to pray, and how to connect with God in my own special way.

If you ever find yourself going in the wrong direction, you can always allow God’s Word and wisdom to lead you back to a fruitful existence.   As long as God blesses you with another day, you can repent of unfruitful choices, and live the abundant life intended for you.

I pray that this “Motivational Monday” message will be a blessing to your day! Feel free to pass it on to friends & family members who might benefit from it.

Peace & Blessings,
T.R. Hopson
Editor-in-Chief, Optimal Living Magazine
Web: http://www.optimal-livingmagazine.com
Email: publisher@optimal-livingmagazine.com
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What To Do When God is Saying “No” to Your Relationship…

Do You Ignore His Voice?
Or, Do You Heed the Warning Signs &
Stop in The Name of Love? 

Dr. Jason Ottley, author of PillowTalk
King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.
~ Proverbs 10:22

We have often confused God’s blessings with our own derelict decision making.  People are always more attractive when you are lonely.  And when you are the only one in your group of friends who is single, being with anyone seems better than being alone.

Women are historically known for making incredible, world-changing, life altering decisions.  But when it comes to men – women have not made the best of decisions.  There is not an overarching theme for the large population of women who have been riddled with bad decision making concerning men.  With that said, every woman it is different.

Some weren’t affectionately called daughter growing up from a father who was never around, while others are tired of being alone and so they take men on like projects and hope to change an unattractive, lack luster, and uncommitted brother into a man of great valor and worth.  Whatever the reason – one of the prevalent issues which continue to erode the fabric of love and relationships is that women are putting up with more than they should.

Many women from all walks of life, races, creeds and colors have fallen in love and committed to stay where men treat them like one of many options.  Why is it that everyone around you can see that your relationship and commitment to a man is literally draining you to the point where you don’t even look like the person people have grown to love?  Is it because you want to continue to ignore the red flags or because you’ve invested so much already in the relationship that it would be outlandish to allow another woman to swoop in on what you’ve created?

Well, let me help add color to your blank canvas…. The first step is taking full responsibility for your choices. Let me be the first to say this in love… It’s not him, it’s you.  It’s not about if he had become what you were strategically setting him up for.  It’s about why you are continuing to select pint size tools for a dream that requires a bulldozer.  We are all built with a capacity limit.  And you do not have the ability to enlarge someone’s capacity.  You can help someone see something in them that they don’t see themselves, but you can’t add measure or stature to a person.  Only God can do that.  The second mistake you’ve continued to make is asking God to bless your request and make the person be exactly what you need.

God created every human being with deposited gifts for the right season, the right reason, and ultimately the right person.  Many women attempt to take on God-like characteristics by attempting to change a man to fit their own personal needs. Women, you never have to change a man to fit you.  A man will either come pre-packaged on a God assignment to you or a man will realize that he needs to change to better himself first and then ultimately be what you desire.  It doesn’t work the other way around.  You can devote the next 20 years of your life to a man that you hope will change due to your love and support, but that will not guarantee change.  Men change when they find value in it.  And if you aren’t valuable enough to him, he won’t change.  You can’t convince a man to find value in you.  Either he does or he doesn’t, but your ability to convince him will continue to go unnoticed and unchronicled.

A great man will be a blessing to you.  Not a curse, not a burden, not a hardship – but a great blessing to you.  And you will know if he is a great blessing to you by what transpires between the two of you.  The bible records that a blessing will make one rich and add no sorrow.  Richness in this context is not just financial, but a blessing will bring increase to your spiritual walk, your emotional stability, your dreams and aspirations, and add great dividends to the woman you are.  It will not bring sorrow or regret!  You will not have to question if you should have made a different decision years prior or if the one you are with is really the one for you.  If the man you have been with for years is not adding any ‘richness to your life’ then he is not your blessing.  It’s really that simple. If the man you’re dating does not add ‘richness to your life’ you are simply borrowing time from the blessing you should be waiting on.  Stop wasting borrowed time because the last place you want to be is with someone you have no need being with while watching someone else walk hand-in-hand with what should be your blessing.

Today’s Challenge:
Spend a day with someone’s opinion you trust and ask them about your current love or love interest.  Can they see you with them long term?  What about them is good for you?  What about them is wrong for you?  What red flags are you ignoring?  Once you’ve calculated this information, write your feelings regarding this person in a journal. Express what this person has brought into your life, and what you bring to theirs.  If your list is stanzas longer than theirs, something is wrong.  Your blessing is supposed to add increase in your life.

Jason Ottley is the Founder of Empowering Relationships, a company tailored to meeting the personal needs of individuals while helping to enrich their relationships. Ottley’s first novel, PillowTalk, inspired him to take the relationship  discussion between men and women on the road, launching a unique nation-wide Relationship Tour. For more information about the tour and the book, Pillowtalk, visit: www.jasonottley.com.


The Challenge for this Week: Trust God, be kind to strangers, and watch God move mightily in your life….

Sunshine in the amIf I could describe this week, I would say that it has been a “challenger”…. Yet, through it all, I was determined to trust God in all things. And, as I trusted Him (surrendering my will, in exchange for His will); God has been blowing me away with favor in unexpected ways. Well, this morning the favor kept flowing… The person ordering in front of me paid for my breakfast in a Chick-Fil-A near me. I was sooo surprised, humbled and immediately recognized God at work in this situation.

It was soooo awesome, that I am encouraging everyone to do something nice for someone today. You never know how you can uplift, encourage and/or bring clarity to someone’s life with just a little bit of kindness.

I hope everyone has a great day! And, remember, God is watching over you, He loves you, and the people around you. So, be kind to one another. ~ Love you to Life!

“Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute In the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding”

~Proverbs 3: 3-5

#angels #thankful #Godsightings #actsofkindness #Godisincontrol #alpha #omega


Before Inauguration, I Pray that You Know Who You Are…

Before Inauguration, I Pray that You Know Who You Are…

After watching Hidden Figures this weekend, I had a renewed resolve as to why my grandmother constantly educated me (in her own way) about the civil rights movement. In the movie, each African-American woman had her own discrimination struggle to deal with at NASA.  Yet these courage ladies – Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson served as the brains behind one of the  greatest space operations in history: the launch of astronaut John Glenn into orbit.

 My grandmother, like many African-American women who lived through the Civil Rights movement of the 1960’s, was one of many “first” to work in Corporate America. She endured many days of hardships of discrimination, being talked down to, and not being given the proper tools in many instances to do her absolute best on the job.  Yet, she kept a cool head, persevered and brought lessons learned home to her family. My grandmother would say things like, “You can be anything you want to be, if you put your mind to it”; “No matter what other people are doing around you, make it a point to be excellent – because greatness is in your blood.”; “If you are going to be successful in the workplace, you have to learn how to play the game.”; “The small things you do, add up to big things in the end. So, be careful to always do your best, maintain your integrity, and do the right thing.”

However, one of the most memorable things that she constantly told me was, “God made you sooooo funky, that no one can hold a candle to you. You are such a designer’s original, that no one can do what you do, the way you do it.” Because of her, I really don’t have any inferiority complexes about the color of my skin, my intelligence level, or anything else that would keep me from being who I was born to be. 

As we move forward in the coming days, I want you to know that whether you are African-American, Caucasian, Mongolian, Native American, etc, etc… – God made us all unique, and we all have something special to contribute to this world. No one is better than the other. At the end of the day, we all bleed red blood, we all have feelings, we all want the best for our families, and we are all  human beings.

We have the power to change the world through prayer, our own thought life and how we treat one another. Don’t let the negative talk of the coming days stop you from doing what God has put in your heart to do.  If God is for you, who can be against you?

Above all else, continue to learn who you are, let your actions bring Glory to God, and teach your children how to love one another. 

With Love Always,

I am, T.R. Hopson
Optimal Living Magazine

Join Us for the “Official Girlfriends Get Away Weekend” for 2017!!!

February 25, 2017
      Woodbridge, Virginia 


Our guest speaker, Ms. Queing Jay lost 102 lbs in 2 years through compassionately loving herself. To learn more about her journey, meet her at Fit, Fabulous & Full of Faith! 



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